One of the definitions for the word that also serves as my title is "the situation of being under the regulation, domination, or command of another". It's often said that knowledge is power. I take it a step further and say that power is control. If you have power over something or someone, you have control over that thing or person, that situation. Kinda like the phrase "bringing a knife to a gun fight". In that particular situation, who has the power? The person wielding the gun. Who has control of the situation, then? The person with the gun. Another example that comes to mind is something that comes up frequently in a series I'm reading at the moment: Inheritance, by Chris Paolini (I HIGHLY recommend these books; not only are they excellent, Chris Paolini is a freaking genius! He's the first author in a long time that I've needed a dictionary while I read.) It has to do with true names. The belief in that series by its characters is that knowing the true name of something or someone gives you control over that thing or person. You can make them do whatever you want them to do, good, bad or indifferent, because you know their true name, which describes them. It is this power, this control, over myself that I am, and always have been, so reluctant to give up. In order to explain the point behind this rambling, I need to provide you with some background info first.
As a child, I had a really short temper. It was b/c I was teased a lot. A whole lot. And it was tough b/c I couldn't figure out why most of the other kids in my really small class (less than 20 kids) kept picking on me. Consequently, I was usually ready to fight at the drop of a hat. But I was never in control of my emotions; obviously, they controlled me. It was really obvious, too. Someone said something I didn't like, I would just lose it. One particular situation I recall when I was about 12 resulted in me being carried, literally picked up and carried, out of the room. Needless to say, when I finally calmed down, I was embarrassed as hell. Thinking back on it, I remember our then computer teacher lecturing me for about 10 mins. on how I needed to learn control, how to control myself. That lecture, I believe, was the turning point for me, however subconsciously. I didn't actively wake up a few days later and say to myself in a mirror "Today, I'm going to practice controlling my emotions. No matter what is said about me, I'm not going to get upset. I won't let it bother me and today will be a good day." I just started doing it. Any disparaging comment directed at me was ignored. From then on, I almost never lost my temper in public. To this rule there was one exception, but I was already having a bad day and he had it coming. He never got anything, but he definitely had it coming. At any rate, this was what I did. It became who I was. I was always in control of myself. From then, until now, even, my temper has not gotten, and does not get, the better of me, save a few occasions. And those occasions were justified only in the light that the blowups couldn't be avoided. You know where people just keep pushing and pushing at that one button until you just can't take it anymore? They were situations like that. The point I'm trying to make is to explain the reason I'm as mild-mannered as Clark Kent: I always stay in control of myself and my emotions.
Knowledge is power. Power is control. Control is everything. Without it, you set yourself up for being the subordinate in any given situation. That's why I like to know so much about people. Yes, it's interesting to see how and why they think the way they do. But it's about control. I know more about them than they do me, which lets me control how our interactions go. I determine the flow and direction of conversation. I dictate the relationship. Control freak? You bet your ass I am. B/C the second you lose control, someone else has it. And they might not have your best interests at heart. This is not to say that I buck authority. I have no problem following the laws of the land. I've never been arrested, for example. I have no issue submitting to the demands of my supervisor at my job. I don't butt heads w/ my mom over some of her more...petty issues about things. But that doesn't mean I like it. Why do I always have to be in control? Why can't I just let go? It's what hinders me when it comes to Christianity. The crux of being a Christian is relinquishing control of a lot of things, mainly yourself. Placing yourself in God's hands and trusting that He won't let you go. And I hear stories all the time of how people "put [their] trust in God" and everything came up roses. That's just something I'm not capable of. Maybe I should just give up. Would it make life easier? Or should I exert more effort into actually doing it than I do avoiding it? And how will I know that it works for me? Those other people knew and coud tell when God "showed up and showed out". How will I recognize that for myself?
Comments (2)
interesting point..
Hello Jeremy,
I like to write articles about Jehovah God. I want to help people to really get to know God, especially in these troubled times. Here is His important message from the Bible: 2 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. (Isaiah 12:2) (KJV)